🌧Step into a lavender rain...🌧

Enjoy some art, some thoughts, and some relaxing rain...

My SSI claim got denied. Im trying not to take it too hard. Im sure the appeal process will go better. Its just so frustrating. This is so hard. Do you think if I could get a job, I would be doing all of this? They say i can work a nonstressful, nonphysical job. Okay, help me find one. Help me find a job that will be okay with me calling out because of pain, or because I had a seizure. Find me a job that would be okay with me constantly needing to go home early because of pain, or because I had a seizure. Not to mention my DID. A part could front that has no idea what to do. Whatever. Im sure I will get it eventually, even if I have to go to court.

On a lighter note, my birthday is coming up! My gf is going to get me a tamagotchi! And we are gonna have a lake day!! Im so excited.

Sorry its been a while. I’ve been so burnt out from doctors appointments and applying for disability and keeping up with the house. Ive been feeling a lot better recently, though. My birthday happened! I went to the lake with my girlfriend and metamor, got a nice tan while they both burned lol white people. Also, yesterday my gf took me out on a coffee and library date. I got lots of compliments on my outfit and had a yummy cinnamon bun with a bunny on it and a strawberry shortcake espresso! It was so delicious.

I got three books from the library and already tore through one and am starting another. I imagine in a couple of days, I will have read through all of the books! And I will try to write reviews on all of them. Idk if the reviews will be any good, but they are mostly for myself. So I can remember stuff. My gf got me a tamagotchi for my birthday! I keep getting the worst evolution but I kind of like him. He’s just an old man angel who likes sake and hates sweets. I’m really going to try to get a better evolution though. It’s just so hardddd sometimes.

Had a doctors appointment! It went…well? I feel like she was really scattered and didnt super understand why I was there, but we got around to it eventually. Im just hoping to get prescribed a wheelchair or something. Ive barely been able to go outside at all because of my pain :< I also had a seizure the other day and of course it SUCKED SO BAD!!! It was a focal awareness seizure, my least favorite kind. Im just going to take it easy today, play some games, maybe draw some and spend time with my rats!

Oh, yeah. I got rats! Oak and Willow.I got willow because he snuggled up in my neck and i got oak because he was the biggest fuck out of the lot.

Wow, Im bad at this. I probably will not get better at it. Anyways, rats are great, Im great. I might be getting a job soon? I found an org that helps disabled people get work from home jobs. I really hope they can help me. I did the interview today. It was actually pretty easy. I did a bunch of cleaning today, smoked some weed. Gonna play games with my qpp today :3 I’m very excited. I also drew a bit today! I want to try to get back into the habit of drawing…Ive kind of fallen off. I dunno, I think Im just really struggling with my aphantasia lately. Just cant imagine shit.

Been having a lot of good days recently. Spending lots of time with my rats and playing gamers with lovers and friends. Also been drawing a little bit. Sometimes I wonder if I can really call myself an artist. I feel so empty and devoid of creativity and inspiration. I don’t know what to even draw most of the time. Like, I want to draw, but I just have no inspiration, a guiding light. Maybe that in and of itself can be a type of inspiration. I could draw a picture that captures this feeling. But I can’t see it in my head. I dont know what it would look like. Other than that, Im thinking of putting my email on this site. If I could figure out how to make a comment section I would do that but lol. Lmao, even. That seems hard. Thanks for reading this

I finally got some inspiration and Ive been drawing a lot the past couple of days. Its been really nice to be creative after a while of being in a drought of it. Other than drawing, I started playing competitive in overwatch for some reason? Just torturing myself ig. Ive made it a bit that the only thing I type in chat is 'moira' and nothing else. I think this bit will increase in value the higher level Moira I am. Butch Moira skin when?